Mar 22 - Today from Proverbs 22 we look at verses 24 & 25
"Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared."
The principle here is quite clear, your choices in friends can indeed influence YOUR character.
Anger manifests itself in numerous ways. Be careful, because one of the subtlest ways is that of slander. We are too civilized and refined to openly advocate assassination. But, how easily we can be influenced to engage in character assassination. We need to be aware when one of our 'friends' gets angry with someone and they take it out by focusing on any and every negative characteristic trait of the person with whom they are angry. Their point is to make sure we and everyone else knows about them. It really doesn’t matter whose home you go into, when dirt is the only focus, you are bound to find some. If you hang around 'friends' like this for long, you will become apt at 'dirt-finding'.
God doesn't want us to be 'dirt-seeking character assassins'. He encourages us in this; "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." (Phil. 4:8)
It's also true that no matter whose home you go into, when beauty is the only focus, you are bound to find some. We are to be a people of joy. God has plenty to be angry about in this world, but if you carefully read the gospels, you will see that in the midst of it all – He seeks joy. We too have plenty to be angry about, but we must choose to live in His joy. As Jesus approached the end of His life, He was facing betrayal, desertion, and hateful false accusation. That’s more than enough to anger someone. But He reveals to His disciples His source of joy in John 15:9, "the Father has loved me . . ." Being a possessor of the authentic love of the Father transcended all of the negative circumstances in which He found Himself. This joy, He said, was to be the same power that would carry His disciples through similar situations. The full statement is found in verses 9-11, "As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Now remain I my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in His love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."
If one of your friends gets into a 'dirt-seeking' fit against someone, be a friend and help them find some joy. Show them the beauty of God’s love through your own attitude and actions (this is His command). If they refuse to change their focus - well, this Proverb speaks for itself.
Since Nov 08
About Me
- Ken
- While mentor-ing a couple of young men late in the year 2001 , I told them that if they agreed to read a chapter of Proverbs each week-day as a part of their devotions, I would choose one verse from the chapter and share a meditation by email. They agreed. I continued to write the meditations at my desk in my home for the next two and a half years. They began to forward them to their friends and I received requests from those friends to be placed on the email list. My personal email bundle was to about eighty people. Many of those people forwarded them to friends all over the country – and some over the world. Only the Lord knows how extensive the writings traveled. I am not a professional writer, and each meditation was spun off in a relatively short period of time during my own personal devotions in the morning. In April of 2004 I assembled 366 of the meditations into a calendar year. As I now bring up the Proverb of the Day to send on to my friends, I am surprised at how fresh each of them is to my own heart – and often how they speak to me in a completely different way than when I first wrote them. . . . . Ken Sweers
2 comments:
Ken:
This could not be more timely. I am in a very similar situation right now, torn between two sides--one being the character assassinator, the other the assassinatee. You offer two suggestions in the last paragraph of your note if someone is "dirt-finding" against someone else. What are some examples of helping them find some joy, and how can I best show them the beauty of God's love through my attitude and actions? I think I have some ideas, but I would like your input.
--Les
From my experience, I guess my first piece of caution is to be careful that this is not, or does not become a ‘triangulation’ situation (see Feb. 26 entry). I am assuming you are in a relationship with two (or more) people who are at odds with each other. Typically, one party is or becomes offended and angry and emotionally tries to pull you into the fray by seeking your counsel and/or support. Unless the details of the fray directly and personally involve you, you need to avoid this. If you venture in, you will not become a peacemaker, you will become a victim.
If I have come close, and without knowing more details, I would suggest telling the ‘assassinator’ that you have a relationship with the ‘assassinatee’, and that you value that relationship too much to enter into whatever you feel you’re being enticed to enter into. The best you can do in the situation is to try to get the two parties together and dialogue. If this does not somehow happen, I would say the chances of finding any kind of amiable solution is very slim. If the ‘assassinator’ refuses to move in this direction, I would affirm that you inform him/her that although you value your relationship, you have no desire to venture any further into the discussion.
If the ‘assassinator’ is a Christian and holds to Biblical principles, there is much more that can be done through using examples from Jesus’ own life and teachings, and prayer. Our entire faith construct is based on the concept of forgiveness.
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