August 27

Aug 27 - Today from Proverbs 27 we look at verses 5 and 6
"Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."

This section of Proverbs (chapters 25-31), was assembled primarily for leaders and those who aspire to be leaders. Good leaders need honest evaluation, and those who befriend and influence leaders need to give it. These verses admonish leaders to carefully consider the sources of those who would bring counsel. They also admonish the trusted friends of leaders to act with integrity - in all circumstances.
In the days this proverb was written, it was very risky to rebuke a king. One could easily end up without a head. As a result, those close to the king and saw that there needed to be a correction in his conduct would often attempt to couch their rebuke in a manner which hopefully would preserve their life a little longer. Often, it would be no rebuke at all. Rebuke needs to be open if it is to be effective. There is a difference between an open rebuke and a public rebuke. The Teacher is not promoting public rebuke - a true friend would not use this except, depending on circumstances, as a last resort. Those who quickly resort to public rebuke are often seeking to form a power base from which they can override the king’s conduct with their own agenda. They quickly identify themselves as enemies of the king.
Open rebuke, however, requires finesse. The approach should always be as a friend with a servant attitude. There needs to be a trust factor deeply embedded in the friendship. This is the importance of developing integrity in relationships. No ulterior motives. No betrayal on even the smallest levels. Placing their interests in the relationship above one’s own. Protecting the relationship even at a cost to one’s self. When these are practiced on a long-term basis, there emerges a strong relationship built on trust. It takes time, but it is worth it. A person may have many acquaintances in life - but a true friend is a rare treasure.
When a true friend approaches you with an open rebuke, you should trust that he or she has carefully thought the issue through and comes with your best interests at heart. Even when it is wounding. Most often the only thing that is wounded is pride - and that is the obstacle the Teacher is attempting to identify and overcome. All too often the recipient of the rebuke no longer sees the trusted friend as a friend. Instead, they relegate the bearer of the open rebuke to the camp of the enemy. This is sad, because they have lost a very valuable asset. Not only have they lost a trusted friend, but they lost a great objective source of critique which would have helped them in conducting their affairs. Pride has imprisoned a friend in the camp of the enemy.
True friends are not the ones who always agree with you, flatter you, and encourage you in your conduct. They may multiply kisses, but they are no asset to your leadership. Anything that is a liability to the productivity of your authority is an enemy. In reality, the person may not be an enemy, but the value of the person's contribution is. I have some shocking news for you: You are not perfect. You have flaws and weaknesses. You make mistakes. You need critique and rebuke just like all of us. Don't allow your pride to imprison or alienate your true friends. Yes, they may be wrong - but not in every instance. Trust that they have your best interests at heart. Work through their point of view. If you cannot own it, work through it with them. Value their friendship more than your wounded pride. You will come out way ahead.
A closing thought. Jesus says to us in John 15:15, "I no longer call you servants . . . Instead, I have called you friends." Jesus is our most trusted Friend. He has perfect integrity. He has no ulterior motives for us. He has never betrayed us on even the smallest level. He places our interests in the relationship above His own. He protected our relationship even at a great cost to Himself - His life! We can trust that when He rebukes us, it is for our very best interests. Let us not alienate Him with our pride.
"What a Friend we have in Jesus." Amen.