June 15

Jun 15 -Today from Proverbs 15 we look at verse 1
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

While discussing the miracle of birth, a woman shared with the group that when giving birth to their first child she literally wanted to strangle her husband. During the excruciating moments before delivery her almost unbearable pain was turned into an incredible anger, and he became the focal point of that anger. Of course the anger and urge quickly passed as the pain gave way to their first child, but the experience was still firmly etched in her memory.
Although the poor husband certainly had much to do with the birth, there was little he could do about the pain of the moment. The pain was very harsh, but we still may think it a bit odd that it stirred his wife's anger toward him. In a strange way, this is very closely related to today's proverb. As a result of the introduction of sin into the world, God tells Eve in Genesis 3:16, "With pain you will give birth to children." The Hebrew word for pain in this text is the very same word that is translated harsh in today's proverb. A broader translation of the word means pang of body or mind. A pang is a sudden harsh pain. In Eve's case, and in the case of the woman who shared her experience with us, it was a pang of the body - birth pangs. In the case of today's proverb, it is a pang of the mind - sharp and cutting words. In both cases, they tend to stir anger - rational or not.
Pang stirs anger. Whether you hit your thumb with a hammer, or an irritated driver calls you an idiot - that sharp pang of the moment causes anger to flare within. In the former case, all you can do is curse yourself. In the latter case you have the option of sending some mental pang to the one who angered you. This brings us to the point of today's proverb. It refers to an answer. It is instruction as to our response to another's words or action - especially when it causes pang. We are to be God's agents of peace, and our words can be a tremendous tool for processes of peace. I heard it stated in a recent message that "Peace is not the absence of war, it is the absence of evil." The Lord strictly admonishes us in Romans 12:17 & 21 not to repay evil with evil, but to overcome evil with good. One of the most practical ways to do this is by allowing the Holy Spirit to empower us to control our responses.
Finesse is an acquired and practiced art. Two different people can give the same person the same message in a response and get two entirely different results. One gets the desired results of peace because he has developed and applied the art of finesse. The other gets either ignored (at best), or more probable, a hostile reaction because his words caused a mental pang. We must note that gentle and harsh do not refer to the level of intensity, they refer to the level of pang. (I know people who are masters of pang as they smile and calmly make a very mean and painful counterpoint.) The higher the level of pang, the more likely the response of anger. We need to learn to discern our subject's areas and levels of sensitivity, and address them in a manner that does not cause mental pang. It's called speaking the truth in love. We are to overcome evil with good.
In all of this, we need grace. Ultimate grace is the gift of the Holy Spirit, given that we might overcome our natural tendencies. Jesus teaches in John 15 that we can experience a constant flow of this grace by abiding in Him. Spirit controlled finesse is one evidence of abiding. Every believer has the ability to attain and grow in it. It is a most valuable tool for the church to possess as we go forth as peacemakers in a world of mental pang.
Abide in the Prince of Peace. Yield your mental pangs to the Holy Spirit. Develop the art of finesse.