September 25

Sep 25 - Today from Proverbs 25 we look at verse 15
"Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone."

Chapter 25 begins the section of the Proverbs for kings - originally collected and assembled for the king and those who dealt with him. Although it contains valuable insights for leaders and developing leaders, the principles are universal. Such is the case with today's meditation.
My first thought is that the most common type of people that rulers come in contact with is that of other rulers. There is something peculiar about successful rulers - they have strong convictions about almost everything. They need to - who wants leadership that waffles at every turn? We have a modern term for people of strong conviction. We say, "They have backbone." That would mean that they hold a fairly rigid posture on whatever issue is under consideration. When two rulers of fairly equal strength differ in their convictions there is almost certain trouble. It means either war or isolationism ('cold' war). Neither are healthy for the people represented by the rulers. In order for there to be a solution, either one or both parties is going to have to experience a 'broken backbone'. They will have to be persuaded that their posture will have to soften or there will be great consequence. If one ruler is far more powerful than the other, it becomes quite obvious which will be broken if resistance is pursued. But when powers are relatively equal, at least one ruler will have to apply wisdom.
Patience is a very valuable virtue. Coupled with wisdom, it erodes positions that can not be overcome by force. Time has a way of diminishing fiery emotions. Time puts distance between a strong reaction and the person who reacted. It is like plucking a fiery brand from the furnace with a tong. One could not possibly take hold of it immediately after being pulled out. But if one walked for a time and distance with the brand in the tong, eventually one could take the brand into hand without being burned. Patience is that long walk between the plucking and the holding.
A gentle tongue is the art of finesse. While waiting for patience to do its work of 'cooling off', the ruler is to be formulating negotiations to be gently convincing rather than making argumentative challenges which tend to rekindle the fires. Some keys to finesse: Treat the other with respect. Be a listener. Make compromises where they do not affect absolute convictions. Let the other win a battle if it means not losing the war. Never make the other look weak or foolish - particularly in the presence of others. Be sincere and not condescending. Always behave with the greatest of integrity. There are others, but I think you get the general idea.
Patience and finesse are hallmarks of good leadership. Good leaders are not to attempt to crush those who oppose their views, but they are to learn the skills of dismantling the rigid postures of those who would hinder their progress. This is the Teacher's lesson for us today.