February 18

Feb 18 - Today from Proverbs 18 we look at verse 18
"Casting the lot settles disputes and keeps strong opponents apart."

I remember that in my high school speech class the students were required to 'dabble' in debate. What I mean is, this was not to be a debate team readying for scholastic competition or anything like that. It was simply an exercise to help us organize thoughts for the purpose of public speaking. I am not sure how much I learned about public speaking in that small venture, but I did learn one thing; competition can really set your heart for something that you normally wouldn't think twice about. Teams were chosen and topics assigned. The teacher even told you which side of the issue you would be arguing for. And argue we did! We were getting all steamed up about meaningless issues of which many of us started out neutral about. Sometimes we even started out disagreeing with the side of the issue we were to defend, and then defended it almost to the drawing of blood! I think it speaks volumes about human nature. We don't want to be proven wrong in a public forum, even over trivial issues.
I see this principle in play with couples who have been married for a long time. One will be telling a story and the spouse will interrupt to correct a minor detail that has little to do with the point of the story. The teller then counterpoints, giving a little more detail to prove that he or she was correct in the telling. They continue to debate the issue until the listeners are either rolling their eyes at one another, or have stopped listening all together. In my mind I imagine the debate picks up where they left off either in the car on the way home, or after the door is shut as the last of the guests leave. It's tough for a strong opponent to give up a point.
I think the wisdom of this proverb is this: When two strong opponents are engaged in debate over a subjective or unprovable point that requires a decision, the best solution is to get them to agree to 'flip a coin' and let God - or fate if you will - decide. In this manner the dispute can be settled and no one looses face. Neither was wrong, both accepted the outcome of a coin toss. Then get on with life - okay?
No, this probably will never work with the arguing couple. But I wouldn't worry too much about it. They have been together all these years, so they obviously have learned some kind of mechanism to deal with these things. But it could work on a committee where two people are set on two different colors of carpet for the new sanctuary while the rest of the committee members would like to roll them up in the carpet and throw them out on the scrap heap! It could work to see which of the kids gets to be the first to try out the new Play Station (after dad). It could work to settle whether the family will vacation on a cross-country driving trip or spend two weeks at a cottage on the lake. We don't have to debate over every issue until one gets offended. When it seems that there just isn't going to be an agreement, and the outcome isn't critical one way or another, reach in your pocket or purse and ask, "Would you agree to the outcome of a flip of the coin?" If they agree, let them call it. If they win, don't go for two out of three. Accept it. You'll live. Living in peace is a greater value than having your way in non-critical issues.